In the World, Not of the World

Believers might wonder: With the world being such a sinful place, and seeming to grow worse daily, how can we actively live in today’s society and still maintain a good conscience as a believer? The narrative of Daniel and his friends in the Old Testament helps us to consider this question. All in God’s Plan The first chapter of Daniel relates how King Nebuchadnezzar, of Babylon, led his army of conquest into Jerusalem and sacked the city. Daniel was a young boy in Judah when this happened, and God’s Word explains that Nebuchadnezzar took Daniel and the other boys, Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah, away to serve him in Babylon. These youth were selected, as the Bible explains, because they were “children in whom was no blemish, but well favoured, and skilful in all wisdom, and cunning in knowledge, and understanding science, and such as had ability in them to stand in the king’s palace, and whom they might teach the learning and the tongue of the Chaldeans” (Dan. 1:4). These boys were chosen because they had demonstrated their ability to learn. We could say, perhaps, that they were “straight-A” students. King Nebuchadnezzar wanted boys who could learn the language of his people and serve in his government, so his country would flourish. Thus, he selected the best and the brightest youth and taught them how to be successful in his land. They were taken against their will as spoils of war; but this was God’s plan for them. With this special trial of being taken from home, they were also given a great opportunity to succeed in the world. Today we have great opportunities for schooling. Access to education is, in North America, better than ever, with public schools, student loans, grants, Internet-based instruction, veteran’s educational benefits, and more. Many believers have been able to take advantage of these opportunities, learning to be productive members of society. Believers graduate from vocational schools, universities, medical schools, law schools, and others. Many choose to use their gifts to serve fellow citizens as police, firefighters, and other public positions in government. Others work in the private sector. Like the boys in the Old Testament, we are given opportunities to use our gifts in our temporal endeavors, and it is clearly not wrong to do so. Indeed, it is good and proper to do so. They Faced Challenges, Too But the boys were confronted with challenges. The king prescribed a certain diet for them. He wanted them fed with the best food, the same food that he ate, with his wine and meat. The king thought this was best for the boys, and that it would support them in their studies and work. But the food and wine offered by the king upset Daniel’s conscience. Old Testament dietary laws forbade many of the foods offered by the king, and Daniel did not want to drink the king’s wine. He did not want to disobey God’s Word, but he also did not want to disobey the king. Daniel explained the matter to his superior and confessed his faith openly, and worked to find an alternative that satisfied both the king and his conscience. The text continues: “But Daniel purposed in his heart that he would not defile himself with the portion of the king’s meat, nor with the wine which he drank: therefore he requested of the prince of the eunuchs that he might not defile himself. “Now God had brought Daniel into favour and tender love with the prince of the eunuchs. And the prince of the eunuchs said unto Daniel, I fear my lord the king, who hath appointed your meat and your drink: for why should he see your faces worse liking than the children which are of your sort? then shall ye make me endanger my head to the king. “Then said Daniel to Melzar, whom the prince of the eunuchs had set over Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah, Prove thy servants, I beseech thee, ten days; and let them give us pulse to eat, and water to drink. Then let our countenances be looked upon before thee, and the countenance of the children that eat of the portion of the king’s meat: and as thou seest, deal with thy servants. “So he consented to them in this matter, and proved them ten days. And at the end of ten days their countenances appeared fairer and fatter in flesh than all the children which did eat the portion of the king’s meat. Thus Melzar took away the portion of their meat, and the wine that they should drink; and gave them pulse. As for these four children, God gave them knowledge and skill in all learning and wisdom” (Dan. 1:8–17). Obedience and Blessing, Then and Now Daniel’s diet confounded his superiors. To them it made no sense. So it is for believers today. A believer’s life choices often make no sense to the unbelieving world and to the rationale of man. The king’s diet could be seen as the extracurricular activities often associated with the educational and workplace environments: the sports teams, athletic games, dances, dinner parties, and other social activities the world deems as important as the classroom learning or job performance, but believers choose not to participate in. In Daniel’s time, as well as in today’s sinful society, people often respect the decisions of a believer when faith is freely confessed. God blessed the believing boys. They were able to complete their studies. They prospered in their work for the king, and were so successful that the Bible relates, “in all matters of wisdom and understanding, that the king enquired of them, he found them ten times better than all the magicians and astrologers that were in all his realm” (Dan. 1:20). Jesus prays for His own in this way, “I pray not that thou shouldest take them out of the world, but that thou shouldest keep them from the evil” (John 17:14). He does not ask God to remove them from the world. He does not pray that His own should be isolated from the greater society. Rather, He prays that God should keep His children from evil. We can freely participate in our earthly calling at school, at work, or in our hobbies. We can fully strive to do our best in all that we do. We can trust that God will still protect us from evil today. Daniel simply confessed his faith, and humbly desired to fulfill his duties. God provided Daniel a way to accomplish these things while maintaining faith and a good conscience. So we trust that God through His Word provides a way to actively participate in the world without accepting the ways of the world.

She Wrapped Him in Swaddling Clothes

Christmas is an exciting time! At home you help your mom and dad clean, bake, and decorate for Christmas. Perhaps you write a letter to Santa or write a list of presents you hope to receive. At services you hear the ministers talk about Advent, the time of waiting before Christmas. You practice your part for the Sunday school program. You hear the story of Jesus’ birth. When Jesus was almost ready to be born, Mary and Joseph had to go on a long trip. They needed to go to Bethlehem so they could be counted or registered with the government. There were many people in Bethlehem, and Mary knew that Jesus would be born. The only place that they could find to stay was a stable. Here Jesus was born. Even though this was the animals’ shelter, the birth of Jesus brought much joy to Mary and Joseph. Angels shared the good news with the shepherds and they came to visit Baby Jesus. The stable where Jesus was born is a picture of God’s kingdom. When you hear the Christmas Gospel, do you notice what Mary did for her baby, Jesus? The Bible tells us that she “wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger.” The swaddling clothes that wrapped Baby Jesus are a picture of God’s Word. Mary wrapped Baby Jesus just like mothers today might wrap their baby in a blanket. Babies feel secure when they are wrapped in this way. The manger filled with warm clean hay was a safe place for Mary to place her baby. Baby Jesus was happy, safe, and warm in the manger. Jesus was born of Mary and was also the Son of God, but He was raised in the home of earthly parents Mary and Joseph. They loved Him, cared for Him, and wanted Him to be safe. You are also a gift from the Heavenly Father to your mom and dad. They give you food to eat, clothes to wear, and a home to live in. They love you and want you to be safe. They take you to services and Sunday school so you can learn about God and Jesus. They pray for you and hope that you will always be a believer. As believing children you have received a double blessing! Not only do your parents care for you, but you have another mother also. This is God’s kingdom. Here we are safe and protected because we believe our sins forgiven according to God’s Word. As Christmas comes again, remember to thank God. He has given you a mother and father. You can be a child in His kingdom. He has also given you the best Christmas gift—Jesus the Savior!

Advent—a Time of Preparing

This time of year leading up to Christmas is a special season for young and old. It is a time of preparing for Christmas. What Is Most Important? Do we place too much emphasis on the externals? Has the material preparation become too important? On one hand, the planning, the shopping, and the gifts have become part of our tradition. Is not the inward preparation and celebration of the true meaning of Christmas most important? In many homes the busyness of life seems to swirl around us. It often causes weariness. The psalm writer reminds us of God’s counsel, “Be still, and know that I am God” (Ps. 46:10). It is good for us in quietness and stillness to reflect on God’s grace and blessing. Let us try to make time to speak of the true meaning of Christmas in our homes. Christ’s Grace and Forgiveness This little Christ Child was born for you and me, and for all people. May He dwell forever in the manger of our hearts. Jesus went on to prepare the way of salvation for sin-fallen mankind. Through His precious merit-work we have become heaven acceptable. Jesus willingly takes our sins upon himself and presents us His grace and forgiveness as the most precious gift. During the four weeks of Advent we are reminded how Jesus comes in humility and great glory. He came to save mankind from sin, Satan, and death. During the final Advent Sunday is the exhortation, “The birth of the Lord is nigh.” It reminds us of that eternal Christmas that is before us. We are secure here in God’s kingdom. Our Lord Jesus has prepared everything for us. The gospel carries us and is our strength on this journey as we await the coming of our Lord. May God bless you and your loved ones during this time of the Christmas celebration, and always.

Feeling Alone in a Community of Believers

Have you ever felt alone at a gathering of a large group of people? There can be times in life when we feel alone even though we’re among familiar ones. We all probably have felt shy and alone approaching others within a large group, all of whom appear to be visiting with someone else already. Many Reasons to Feel Alone Feelings of being alone are also familiar to believers from time to time. Feeling alone might be more common for a believer in a large congregation, where it may be more difficult to make and maintain friendships if one is shy or reserved. In some areas, we might be part of a large congregation but do not live in close proximity to others who are familiar to us. Some people have lots of believing family and relatives, and their social activities revolve around family events such as birthdays, anniversary parties, etc. The person without close relatives can feel left out, more alone. In moving to a new congregation, an individual or family may not have extended family or relatives nearby. Without family and close friends, it becomes easier to feel alone. Holidays can accentuate feelings of loneliness. Because others have well-established circles of friends, it may seem hard to join these circles. Such experiences, too, heighten the sense of feeling alone. There are other life changes that can bring on feelings of loneliness. Friends move. Friends may get married while we remain single. People change jobs and/or work hours and aren’t available for shared activities. Friends may begin having children and are busy with their young families. Others have large families. Some have few, one, or no children. These differences may change opportunities or frequency of fellowship. We Need Travel Escorts It is important that we adapt socially with these life changes. We all need friends and journey companions. We need to be cared for in our walk of faith. We need others to preach the gospel to preserve faith and a clean conscience and to strengthen our faith. God’s Word instructs: “If we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin” (1 John 1:7). Feelings of loneliness, if they persist, can cause us to doubt our faith. Is this not the work of the enemy of souls? Doesn’t he want us to feel despair? Doesn’t he want us to give up our faith? He might prompt further doubt: “Nobody cares about me. I might as well quit believing this way because none of these people will be my friend,” or perhaps, “Nobody else can understand my lonely feelings.” Serve God’s Kingdom All believers are worthy of escorts and friends and need to seek the company of other believers. It is written in Ecclesiastes 4:9,10: “Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up.” We are blessed to be traveling in the flock of believers in the Heavenly Father’s care. It is good to reach out to others to find friendship and social activity in God’s kingdom. We can also pray for friends and escorts. One way to develop friendships is to volunteer in congregational activities and willingly serve God’s kingdom. You don’t feel alone when you join in to help others or join in the mutual work of the congregation. Freely share your gifts. When we work with others, we develop camaraderie and friendship. A good example of this is serving together at camps. We often leave with warm feelings and with new friends from among the camp participants or others serving there. By attending services, participating in camps and other organized activities, we feel the love of the believers, and we feel that we belong. “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord” (Col. 3:16). Singing songs of Zion with other believers can also help us feel warmth and belonging. Reach Out to Others God’s Word teaches us to love and serve one another. “I have shewed you all things, how that so labouring ye ought to support the weak, and to remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how He said, It is more blessed to give than to receive” (Acts 20:35). For example, we should try to include those who are new to our congregations, either having recently moved or are just visiting. If we notice that people are alone, we should not walk by but greet them—welcome them if they are a visitor. It’s also nice to reach out to those living without family nearby during holidays and other times when they might especially need inclusion. “Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares” (Heb. 13:2). Most importantly, we are instructed to care for one another. “And this commandment have we from him, That he who loveth God love his brother also” (1 John 4:21). We are all traveling together to reach our heavenly home. Jesus has promised to be with us: “Lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world” (Matt. 28:20). Let us freely preach the gospel to one another to strengthen our faith and bonds of Christian love. Paul instructs, “With all lowliness and meekness, with longsuffering, forbearing one another in love; Endeavouring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace” (Eph. 4:2,3). Let us be a support to one another so no one would have to feel alone on this journey and all would reach heaven.

The Good Samaritan

Jesus once told a story that we call the Parable of the Good Samaritan. It is found in the Bible in Luke 10:25–37. The story tells about a man who was traveling between two cities. On this trip, the man fell among thieves who took his clothing and left him wounded by the side of the road. Many of us have taken trips, traveling from one city to another. This man was traveling from Jerusalem to Jericho, two cities in the land where Jesus lived. In the Bible, the city of Jerusalem is used as a picture of God’s kingdom. The city of Jericho pictures the unbelieving world. The man in this story was traveling from God’s kingdom into the world of sin and unbelief. He did not have believers with him on this trip. He was among thieves, who were not believers. They could not help him when he was wounded. Instead, they left him half dead on the side of the road. Now the man was in a dangerous place and was not able to help himself. If his wounds did not receive care, he would die. Perhaps you know of people who have taken this kind of a trip. On this trip, a person falls into sin and is wounded. If sin is not cared for, or forgiven, the result is that a person loses their faith. Then he leaves God’s kingdom and begins to live a life of unbelief in this world. This story teaches us how important our believing friends and family members are. We, too, have experienced the wounds of sin, when sin hurts our conscience. When this happens, we know that there is only one thing that can help us. It is to hear from another believer that our sins can be forgiven in the name and blood of Jesus. We call this good message of forgiveness the gospel. It feels good to hear and believe the gospel when we are troubled by sin. The wounds of sin are then healed, and we can again be happy children of God. We may have friends and even family members who are not believing. We still love them, but they are not able to help us if we sin. The Bible teaches us to love our neighbors and all people, but it also warns us about becoming too close to this world, where there are many temptations. Unbelieving friends might want us to do things that would wound our conscience. It could happen like the man in our story, that we become wounded by sin and have no believers close to us who can help us. Fortunately, for this man, someone found him and was able to help him. It was the Good Samaritan, who is a picture of Jesus. Jesus was able and willing to help this man. He could heal his wounds and bring him to a place where he could be cared for. Where did Jesus bring this traveler? He brought him to an inn, which is God’s house. God’s house is a place of care for all children of God. In God’s house, the gospel cares for our wounds of sin. The other children of God love us and take care of us. Is there anything that we can do for each other that is more important than to help each other fight against sin and to preach the gospel of forgiveness to each other? How good it feels when sins are forgiven, and we can travel together on the way to heaven. Let us never tire of preaching the gospel to each other, in our homes and families, and with our believing friends.

The Family Unit

A New Year Brings Hope The Christian family can look to the future with hope even in this time of increasing spiritual darkness. Faith in the gospel has sustained the family in the passing year and will do so in the new year. The dawn of a new year offers a time of reflection on the events and experiences of the past year and the promises of hope for the new. A new beginning in both temporal and spiritual life is possible. What promises can family members make for the new year? What changes would be beneficial for the faith and temporal life of the family? Stepping back and taking the landscape view one can first ask, “What has God intended for Christian family life?” Further, what does the Bible say? What do the experiences of life reveal? In What Ways Can the Family Unit Be Strengthened? Spending time together strengthens the bond of the family unit. Engaging all family members as equals and listening to the opinions of others is a good start for building unity. Maintaining a healthy atmosphere where there is freedom to speak even of the wounds and defeats is also important. This atmosphere is best created and cared for with God’s Word and the spirit of the gospel. In this, parents can have a major influence. Also important is that parents must pull in the same direction as guided by the Holy Spirit. Children can detect if parents are not of one mind and will soon learn which parent will “give in.” A special challenge for maintaining a healthy atmosphere exists if the family includes a member living at home who is not in faith. In fear of losing other children to unbelief a danger exists of becoming too tight or too lenient. The rules set up for the operation of the Christian home should not be changed to accommodate the one who has left faith. The gospel is the power of God for salvation. Children learn a lot by example and experience. Learning how to care for matters with the gospel is usually first learned at home. Caring for them as wide as they have affected applies in the home also. The personal faith and care of the conscience by parents and children are fundamental for harmony and peace. Making it important to get to the services and other activities of God’s children sets a good example for children as to what really is important in life. Children and parents can both help nurture the home setting by supporting one another with forgiveness, kindness, meekness, and respect. Saying the words “I love you” or expressing appreciation for another’s help or faithfulness to their home duties strengthens the family bond. Marriage and Family Is under Attack The Christian understanding of marriage and family is under attack. A powerful spirit of delusion, atheism, has entered the world and demands a different definition of both marriage and family. In the name of human rights and freedom, the atheist “exalteth himself above all that is called God” (2 Thess. 2:4). Marriage was established by the Creator himself and is holy in His sight. Being witnesses to the attacks on marriage and family brings distress and sorrow to our hearts. We live in a time when there is a general falling away of the heart of man from God. This time was prophesied of by Paul as the coming revelation of the “man of sin…the son of perdition” (2 Thess. 2:3). Demands to redefine marriage come from the gay and lesbian communities and their supporters. A downward spiral starting from the rejection of God as the Creator and no longer being thankful to Him, have caused gays and lesbians to become slaves of their own lusts (Rom. 1:18–32). We live in a time when morals are decided by vote, courts, and public opinion polls instead of God’s Word. It is the time of moral relativism. Atheism is insistent in its effort to remove God from all aspects of our lives. The God-intended purpose for family will be lost if family can no longer be ideally defined in terms of father, mother, parents, sons, daughters, or grandparents. The Joy of Salvation The spiritual darkness of this world weighs heavy on our hearts. We must not, however, let it diminish the joy of salvation we have or the joy we experience in the Christian home. We have much to be thankful for. We can counter spiritual darkness by gathering more often in the light of God’s Word and in the name of Jesus. The Christian home is an excellent setting for such gathering. Using the Bible, the Voice of Zion and other Christian publications, or general discussion, parents and children can verify what God’s Word teaches on the various issues we face in our time. Reinforcing the “ABCs” or fundamentals of what we believe, and why, helps establish the home and prepare our children to battle against darkness. Religious training begins in the home and is supported by God’s kingdom. Parents need to take responsibility for it. It is not a task left only for the congregation. The congregation will “water that seed that has been planted,” however. Luther reflects that God has place a child into our laps as a living soul to be nurtured. This insight focuses for us what really is important in our day-to-day efforts. As we begin this new year, as individuals and families, let us renew the promise to keep faith and a good conscience. Let us ask for guidance and heavenly wisdom in the rearing of our children and the spiritual edification of families.

Why Me?

All People Have Trials In the Bible, we can find many examples that teach us that we are not so different. Others have had trials. Beginning with the family of Adam and Eve, we can read about difficulties experienced within the family. We can go on to read about the difficulties in the family of Jacob, whose wife Rachel died in childbirth, and who later thought that his son Joseph had also died, when Joseph’s brothers sold him into slavery. And what trials did Joseph experience in his life; sold by his brothers, separated from his family, and later wrongly imprisoned in the land of Egypt? The book of Job describes the trials of his life, his struggles to deal with those trials, and the reason they happened to him. The Bible relates in detail about the life of David and its ups and downs. The book of Daniel tells us of some of the trials that Daniel and his three friends had to face in Babylon. The writer of the letter to the Hebrews says that “the time would fail” him to tell of all that the former saints endured. We Are Not So Different Apostle Peter teaches us not to think of ourselves as strange or different because of our trials. Peter also writes that we should resist the devil even in the midst of trials, “knowing that the same afflictions are accomplished in your brethren that are in the world” (1 Pet. 5:9). Jesus says, “In the world ye shall have tribulation” (John 16:33). Apostle Paul, who writes about his many difficult experiences, says, “There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man” (1 Cor. 10:13). Sometimes we look at others, and their lives can seem so much easier than ours. We might think that they do not have the kinds of struggles that we have. Then when we are able to speak with others about their lives, we learn that we are not so different. They have also experienced difficult times and trials in life like we have. Perhaps the trials are not the same, but we realize that every family and every person has struggles. God Helps God’s Word does not leave us to sorrow over our trials. It assures us that God knows our needs and takes care of us. When he writes of our common afflictions, Peter says, “But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you” (1 Pet. 5:10). When Paul writes of our common temptation, he says, “but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it” (1 Cor. 10:13). And when Jesus warns that in the world we shall have tribulation, He says, “But be of good cheer; I have overcome the world” (John 16:33). Apostle John writes, “For whatsoever is born of God overcometh the world: and this is the victory that overcometh the world, even our faith” (1 John 5:4). In the same way, the writer to the Hebrews, in recalling the trials of former saints, writes that they were victorious by faith (Heb. 11). Content in God’s Grace In times of trials or sorrow in my life, I have tried to remember that all people have such times and to remember how fortunate it is to be able to face trials as a child of God. God takes care of us in His kingdom. It is a grace kingdom. In His kingdom, God cares for us with His grace and the gospel of forgiveness. Our brothers and sisters help us. They lift us up with the gospel. They share our burdens. And they carry us in their prayers. In God’s kingdom we do not have to feel like we are different because of our struggles. We can be who we are—as God made us. Apostle Paul asks the question, “Shall the thing formed say to him that formed it, Why hast thou made me thus?” (Rom. 9:20). It is good to be free to be who we are, to be open epistles, and to share our joys and our sorrows. God’s message to Apostle Paul is a message to us also, “My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness” (2 Cor. 12:9). Together with Paul, we say, “Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore, I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong” (2 Cor. 12:9,10). We can cast our cares upon Him who cares for us. In the hearing of the gospel we can believe all of our sins and doubts forgiven in the name and blood of Jesus. In this gospel, God gives us the power to continue in faith, even in the midst of trials.

David and Jonathan

IN THE BIBLE there are many stories about friendship. One of these friendships was between David, a shepherd boy, and Jonathan, the son of King Saul. Saul was king when David fought the giant Goliath. Goliath had asked for one of Saul’s people to come fight him. Saul was afraid because he didn’t have anyone in his army who wanted to face Goliath. David volunteered because he trusted that God would protect him. David killed Goliath with a sling and one stone. Jonathan admired David’s courage and bravery. He realized that David had faith and trust in God, just as Jonathan himself had. After the day when Goliath was killed, David and Jonathan were the best of friends. “The soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul” (1 Sam. 18:1). Then Jonathan and David made a promise, or covenant, that they would look out for and care for each other. They promised to never let anything come between them. It was tradition that when a king died his son would become the next king, but God revealed to Jonathan that David instead would become king. Rather than being jealous, Jonathan accepted God’s will. He even gave David his robe, sword, belt, and armor. Jonathan was faithful to David but more importantly to God and His will. Saul kept David in his house to serve him. David did whatever Saul sent him to do. He did everything so well that Saul gave him a high rank in the army. This pleased all the people and they praised David. In his unbelief King Saul became jealous of David and wanted to kill him. Jonathan rebuked his father and reminded him that David had risked his life when he killed Goliath. Instead of taking the side of his father, Jonathan was a loyal friend to David. He warned him that Saul was looking for a chance to kill him. David fled into the wilderness to get away from him. Jonathan went in secret to meet David to encourage his friend. “And Jonathan Saul’s son arose, and went to David into the wood, and strengthened his hand in God” (1 Sam. 23:16). Jonathan and David were able to support each other in faith. God blessed their obedience and friendship. Why is it important to have a believing friend like David had with Jonathan? Believing friends help us to stay in faith. We can speak to them of our trials and temptations. We can tell them of matters that trouble our conscience, and they can do the most precious thing any friend could ever do: they can preach the gospel, the forgiveness of sins. “Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up” (Eccl. 4:9,10). We thank God for our believing friends. They help us on our way to heaven.

Living Hope of Heaven

The Gospel Gives Hope There is another simple sounding, but deep question: “As a believer, what do you believe?” Is believing this that we regard the stories of the Bible as truth? Or is it something more? After all, James writes in his epistle: “Thou believest that there is one God; thou doest well: the devils also believe, and tremble” (James 2:19). With faith based on human reason, we are still together with the enemy of the souls. It is not good company for anyone! As believers, we believe our sins forgiven when the freeing gospel of the forgiveness of our sins is preached to us. Along with believing comes hope. Sometimes it is called a living hope of heaven. Paul writes to the Romans: “And hope maketh not ashamed” (Rom. 5:5). It means that the hope, which is instilled by faith, will be fulfilled. God will make our hope of reaching heaven become a reality. Our faith is directed toward what we hope. Thus faith is hope. Faith reaches what is ahead of us, and what we otherwise would not be able to experience. With faith, the future is present immediately. In faith, the object of hope affects here and now, even though the matter in question is in the future, not yet experienced. But faith believes that it will happen, lives in accord with it, and receives strength for life from it. Our Strength Comes from God The hopeful person is willing to try “one more time.” “Hast thou not known? hast thou not heard, that the everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth, fainteth not, neither is weary? there is no searching of his understanding. He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength. Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall: But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint” (Isa. 40:28–31). A Goal Worth Battling For Let’s not forget that we have a goal—heaven! May the hope of reaching that goal give us strength to battle against our threefold enemy—the devil, this world, and our own flesh. The letter to the Hebrews says of the believers of former times, “These all died in faith, not having received the promises, but having seen them afar off, and were persuaded of them, and embraced them, and confessed that they were strangers and pilgrims on the earth. For they that say such things declare plainly that they seek a country. And truly, if they had been mindful of that country from whence they came out, they might have had opportunity to have returned. But now they desire a better country, that is, an heavenly: wherefore God is not ashamed to be called their God: for he hath prepared for them a city”

Mary, See Your Son!

Many events happened during the time of Easter. A week before, on the day we know as Palm Sunday, Jesus rode into Jerusalem on the back of a donkey. The people laid clothes and palm leaves on the path before Him. Several days later, on Thursday, Jesus gathered with His disciples to eat the Passover Meal. During this meal, Jesus said that one of His disciples would betray Him. He started a meal of remembrance, which is communion. After the meal, Jesus went to the Garden of Gethsemane to pray. A crowd of people led by Judas, one of Jesus’ disciples, came to arrest Jesus. Jesus was mocked, beaten, and whipped. The next morning Pontius Pilate brought Him before the people. Pilate asked if Jesus should be freed, but the crowd said to crucify Him. Jesus was nailed to the cross and died. He was placed in a tomb. During the night an angel came and rolled the heavy stone away from the door. When the women came to the tomb on Sunday morning, they did not find Jesus. The angel said, “He is not here, but is risen” (Luke 24:6). There was one special event of many that happened as Jesus hanged on the cross (John 19:26,27). It probably only took a minute or two. Jesus was suffering and in great pain. His mother Mary was very sad as she saw Jesus suffering. She knew that He would die. Years earlier, when Mary brought baby Jesus to the Temple, Simeon had told her of the “sword that would pierce her soul” (Luke 2:35). Maybe this was the sorrow Mary was feeling now. Jesus saw His mother’s sorrow when He looked down from the cross. Jesus’ disciple John stood beside her. Jesus told His mother Mary that John was her son. He told John that Mary was his mother. From that time Mary lived in John’s home. It was Jesus’ love for His mother that caused him to ask the disciple John to care for her. With this example, Jesus teaches parents and children to love each other. Parents love and care for their children; children honor and love their parents. Sometimes children also care for their mothers and fathers. When I was a child, my grandmother came to live in our home because she could no longer live by herself. As believing moms and dads, boys and girls, we have the best care! We have the gospel, the forgiveness of sins, to keep love between us. Why does the gospel carry this power? It is what the women found at Jesus’ tomb. The angel told them that Jesus was not there, but had risen. Jesus suffered and died, but did not remain dead. His victory over death means that we will get to heaven if we continue to believe our sins forgiven.

My Spiritual Home

Where is the best place to be for all of us? Where can we be free, rest, eat, and be comforted? Where are our dearest ones? Wouldn’t, “At home,” be our reply? Home is where our heart is, they say. Although a family’s temporal home can be seen as a building, the building itself is nothing without our loved ones. Home is a place of refuge where we are welcomed and loved even if we are weak and faulty. Even though we say things that hurt our loved ones, we fret and grumble, we tire and are impatient; we are loved at home just as we are. We can take care of matters with the gospel and move on. A Gift of God The best place for our undying soul is in our spiritual home. This is also a home where we can be free, rest, and be nourished. It may be thought of as our church building, but its essence is in our spiritual family, amid our brothers and sisters in faith. The building alone is not God’s kingdom. The boundary of the kingdom cannot be seen; it goes from one child of God’s heart to another. Neither can our undying soul be seen. It is a treasure, a gift of God, carried in clay vessels—our earthly bodies. We need to actually take footsteps to bring our undying soul to where it is nourished and strengthened, to the gatherings of God’s children: services, Sunday school, Bible class, “haps” gatherings, and other functions in the kingdom. Services are the central form of work in Christianity. All other functions—as well as the work done in our homes—support services, where we hear God’s Word. The Bible reminds us of the importance of services: “Faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God” (Rom. 10:17). A Place of Care While a believing home is where our fathers and mothers teach and instruct us, forgive and encourage, we also need the care and cradling of our spiritual home. Sometimes the believing home is called God’s kingdom in miniature. It’s a home inside a home, like a room in the house of God. If it were without the protection and warmth of the house, the room on its own would be a cold and unsheltered place when the world’s cold winds blow. Our spiritual home is described in Psalm 132:13,14: “For the Lord hath chosen Zion; he hath desired it for his habitation. This is my rest for ever: here will I dwell; for I have desired it.” The Almighty God provides the warmth of His house through His Word. Flickering faith is there strengthened, and we feel sheltered from the world. We can feel the support of other children of God in our personal faith life, in rooting our children in the kingdom, and even amid temporal worries. We Battle Our “Old Portion” Sometimes we feel that our “old portion” is slow to go to church functions. Life is busy and we get tired. In families, preparing for church may even be one of the most strenuous times of the week; often there is need for the gospel before we even get there. Special services on a weeknight or Saturday may not fit into our busy schedules, and even Sunday might feel like a time we would rather dedicate to personal relaxation or family time after a busy week. Time flies and we tend to fly with it, feeling that we haven’t yet accomplished what we thought we would. When we come to services, are greeted with smiles and “God’s Peace!” we can rest. We can pause around that which is most important. We can put away bad thoughts, those words uttered in weakness and tiredness. We together can ladle from the crystal clear fountain of life to quench our thirst and break the bread of life for our hungry and weak souls. We can share our worries and spread joy and strength from one vessel to another. Providing the opportunity to visit and share thoughts after services, over refreshments, for example, is important. We’re All Needed in God’s House Do we ever regret that we came to services? Do we feel it was a waste of time to come to teach Sunday school? Is having “haps” at our homes tiring, or do we feel that we’ve been touched by the singing and happy faces of our youth? What a wonderful kingdom God has given! We can feel we’re not alone with our burdens. We can help in the work with the gifts we’ve been given, and together, through the love and gospel work patch those cracks in the mortar of the walls of the house. We are all needed and loved in the house of God: in the safe arms of our Heavenly Father and the guidance of the congregation mother. At services we hear about the foundations of faith. The beautiful songs are like miniature sermons. Why would we stay home if we have the opportunity to go? Sometimes we cannot make it to services or other gatherings. Still, we are not forgotten: many times we pray at services for those who cannot come, whether they are in their earthly callings, ill, or in remote places. It is good that we have the opportunity to listen to services through the Internet in these times. We can be uplifted and encouraged through hearing the Word. Let Us Hunger for the Word Internet services are a great resource temporarily, sometimes needed even for longer periods. But feeling the presence and unity, the fellowship and love of our brothers and sisters in faith when we actually attend services is vital. God’s has given us His Word to strengthen our faith. He has exhorted us to come to hear His Word, like a father who wants His children to be near Him. At services arranged in areas where there are no regular church activities, or in the mission work done in African countries or Ecuador, the desire to come to services is vividly seen, and distances are not an issue. This is a reminder to all of us; how we should come as a flock of hungry sheep to where our Shepherd’s voice is heard, to be comforted, nourished, and to stay huddled in the center of the flock. If we only felt the desire as the Psalm writer: “My soul longeth, yea, even fainteth for the courts of the Lord: my heart and my flesh crieth out for the living God. Yea, the sparrow hath found an house, and the swallow a nest for herself, where she may lay her young, even thine altars, O Lord of hosts, my King, and my God. Blessed are they that dwell in thy house: they will be still praising thee” (Ps. 84:2–4). Going to services in itself will not save us if we do not personally want to believe or are traveling on the fringes of the kingdom with a divided heart. In SRK’s 2010 publication Erilaisina mutta samanarvoisina (Different but of equal value), Olavi Voittonen writes how it is a dangerous self-delusion if we listen to, but do not hear the Word, or if we come to seek only the social aspect or togetherness. “Be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves” (James 1:22). Only if we dwell as sinners totally in the mercy of forgiveness, can we remain in the unity of God and His congregation. Make Time for God’s Word We feel and acknowledge the importance of faith in our lives, but do we always remember how short a time the life of man is compared to eternity? The Bible reminds us how we are like grass that flourishes in the morning and in the evening is cut down and withers (Ps. 90:5,6). We certainly do not devote too much time to God’s Word! It is good to stop to think about this. Our church calendars have many events and activities; we may feel that there is even too much going on. However, we need not feel pressure to attend every occasion, as God will ultimately only look into His child’s heart, not count the number of church functions we participated in. We can feel free! Nevertheless, we can also remember that God has allowed many forms of His work to move forward so that we could get together more.

The Golden Rule

“Treat others as you want to be treated” is a familiar saying. Maybe you have heard it in a little different way. One of the teachers at our elementary school says, “If you are nice to others, they will be nice to you.” Other examples are, “Do to others as you want them to do to you” and “What goes around, comes around.” Did you know that Jesus spoke the words that we call the Golden Rule? Right after choosing His twelve disciples, Jesus was preaching to a large group of people who had come to hear Him and to be healed. Jesus told the people that the poor, the hungry, and the sad are blessed because they will be filled and will be happy because the kingdom of God belongs to them. He told the believers to love their enemies, to even do good to those who hate them, and to pray for those who are mean to them. Then He taught the Golden Rule, saying, “As ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise” (Luke 6:31). What does this mean? In our home when children are arguing, we hear, “But he did that to me” or “she did that first.” It feels easier to give an excuse for our bad behavior when we point out what someone else has done to us. But, this isn’t what Jesus teaches. Jesus clearly explains that even when people do bad things to us, we want to do good to them. We want to behave, not like others behave, but in a way that we want others to be toward us. That can be hard to understand and it can be hard to do. Sometimes it helps to think: “What if I was that person? How would I want to be treated?” If we act toward others in a way that we would want them to act toward us, then we are following the Golden Rule. If you are like me, you might find it much easier to be nice to your friends than to someone who is not nice to you. Perhaps Jesus taught this lesson for people like you and me because He knew that it would be hard for us to treat people nicely who are not being nice to us. Jesus also explained that even ungodly people are nice to those who are nice to them. They love those who love them. He knew it was more difficult to love our enemies. We also find it easier to do good things if we think we will get something in return. If your sister wants to wear one of your shirts, it might not be easy to say, “Sure, that shirt looks nice on you!” It is easier to say, “You can wear it if I can wear your boots.” It can be easy to expect something back for good that we do. But again, this isn’t what Jesus teaches. Jesus says, “Love ye your enemies, and do good, and lend, hoping for nothing again; and your reward shall be great, and ye shall be the children of the Highest: for he is kind unto the unthankful and to the evil” (Luke 6:35). Jesus explains that God is kind even to those who are evil. As God’s children, we desire to do the same. We want to treat others as we want to be treated. Even though people might treat us poorly, when we believe our sins forgiven and walk as children of God, our reward is great! We can get to heaven! We don’t need any reward for our kindness on earth. Our reward is in heaven.

When the Financial Foundation Fails

Every builder knows the importance of a strong and sure foundation. The Master Builder in our lives of faith instructs in Isaiah 28:16: “Therefore thus saith the Lord God, Behold, I lay in Zion for a foundation a stone, a tried stone, a precious corner stone, a sure foundation.” We wish to feel safe and secure, on a strong foundation. Money Is Necessary in Life As believers, we must live in this world. Modern societies require the use of money to expedite transactions and as a medium of exchange. One observer said: “Money isn’t as important as oxygen, but it’s right up there with it.” Many people say, “Money is the root of all evil,” but that is wrongly quoted. Scripture says, “The love of money is the root of all evil” (1 Tim. 6:10). Money itself is neutral, neither good nor evil. Paul’s advice warns against greed and envy. Some people have a special talent for handling money. The Parable of the Talents (which is spiritual) also suggests that temporal talents and resources can be used to create more, if used wisely. One elder brother has often offered this simple but powerful advice: “Spend less than you earn. Save and invest wisely.” Questions and Doubts Arise But what if, despite being good stewards of our resources, our financial foundation crumbles? In recent times, perhaps many have experienced the loss of jobs, homes, and retirement savings. New jobs may be very difficult to find. A medical catastrophe can quickly wipe out resources. Sometimes these events can lead to bankruptcy. Even the best plans can be swept away by forces beyond one’s control. It is also true that sometimes we suffer from poor choices, and even irresponsible choices. One feels hopeless and distressed. When one’s financial foundation fails, it causes self-examination. Questions arise: Why me? What did I do wrong? What can I do next? What will my future bring? Feelings of shame and guilt can arise. The future may look bleak. It may be hard to swallow pride, to ask for help. We may see someone who is struggling with such huge debts that any contribution we could offer would be like one drop into an ocean. We wonder, how can we discuss such a personal and sensitive subject? Families and children suffer. Temptations arise. Doubts overwhelm. One of Satan’s favorite tools is despair or discouragement. “Has God forsaken me?” one can wonder. Temptations come regarding being honest in our dealings, keeping our consciences clean. To obey and trust in God’s Word during difficult times tries our faith. God’s Word Teaches and Comforts First, God’s Word teaches: “Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you” (1 Pet. 4:12). And further: “There hath no temptation [trial] taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that you are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it” (1 Cor. 10:13). Trials are difficult if not impossible for us to understand, and even more so, to accept as a blessing. God’s Word clearly explains that it is part of life and God will not forget us. On the cross, God turned His gaze away from His Son Jesus for a moment to allow the full weight of sin to press upon Him. Jesus cried out in pain and anguish: “My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?” (Mark 15:34). God allowed this trial for one purpose: to save us from our sins. God also allows trials in our lives, to build our trust and faith in Him. We wish to believe as we pray, “Thy will be done.” “Trust in him at all times; ye people, pour out your heart before him: God is a refuge for us” (Ps. 62:8). James writes that we need to help those in need: “If a brother or sister be naked, and destitute of daily food, And one of you say unto them, Depart in peace, be ye warmed and filled; not withstanding ye give them not those things which are needful to the body; what doth it profit?” (James 2:15,16). He also writes: “to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin” (James 4:17). Trust in God’s Care We can also remember this Old Testament prayer: “Remove far from me vanity and lies: give me neither poverty nor riches; feed me with food convenient for me: Lest I be full, and deny thee, and say, Who is the Lord? or lest I be poor, and steal, and take the name of my God in vain” (Prov. 30:8). “Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof” (Matt. 6:34). “In God I will praise his word, in God I have put my trust; I will not fear what flesh can do unto me” (Ps. 56:4). Many of our songs of Zion bring comfort and encouragement. For example, as Jesus teaches how the birds of nature are cared for by God, the songwriter tells of their joy and trust: “It sows not, it reaps not, it gathers no food for need of the days of tomorrow, but, always rejoicing in mind, sings anew, of forthcoming cares does not sorrow, and yet it from want never suffers”

Prayer Is a Gift from God

Prayer is a gift God gives to all people as a way to speak with Him. Although we see the signs of God around us, we cannot see or hear God. God’s Son Jesus teaches us how to pray by giving us what we call “The Lord’s Prayer.” Jesus also teaches us when and where to pray. He says, “But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou has shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly” (Matt. 6:6). Here Jesus says to pray in secret rather than in a public place, begging for attention. Where can we pray? Many believing families pray together at home at bedtime. Others pray by themselves before school or work. Sunday school and youth camp students pray before their lessons. We pray at services. God wants us to pray to Him. The Bible says that our prayers are held in golden vessels before God in heaven; so important our prayers are to Him! We can feel free to speak with God because He is our best friend, Father, and protector. Sometimes it may seem as if God hasn’t heard our prayers because we do not immediately see His reply. As a child, I remember praying to God as I tried to sleep. I would include the difficulties from my day—the stress from school, how I didn’t dare confess my faith in an upcoming writing assignment, or how lonely I felt with so many recent changes in my life. I would also thank God for His many blessings: to be able to go to school, to be able to read, and for my dear siblings whom I could always call “friend.” I remember praying for my parents and each of my siblings starting with the oldest. I wanted God to bless and protect each of them, including myself. It seemed that every morning I realized I hadn’t finished my prayer because sleep had come instead. The following evening, I would again pray for my parents and siblings, this time starting with the youngest, so I could include them, too. God has heard those prayers just as He hears all the others. His answers are shown to us in His time. Looking back, I remember the peaceful sleep God gave me during those nights of prayer, the respect my teachers had of my faith, and how richly my parents, siblings, and I have been blessed. As a youth we may struggle with changes in life. It is good to remember our old friends, new friends, and even those who are disrespectful towards us. Jesus says, “Bless them that curse you, and pray for them which despitefully use you” (Luke 6:28). What do we ask God to do for those people? We can ask God to bless and help them. We can also ask that God would help us to not feel angry or bitter toward them. A fruit of faith is love; we want to have that prayer so love wouldn’t be broken. Each of us has different experiences in life. We all have different psalms to sing. God has created us all and wants to hear our psalms or prayers. He wants us to speak with Him, to draw closer to Him. In doing so we can feel the comfort of God’s open arms. We can pray as often as we need, in times of happiness, and in times of struggle.

The Family of God

“Fear not, little flock; for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom” (Luke 12:32). Jesus told His followers that God has given them His kingdom. This kingdom, whose head is Jesus Christ, has always been on this earth, and still is. Those who endeavor as God’s children, wherever their geographical home may be, live in His kingdom and are members of the family of God. Since all members of this family are united by God’s Holy Spirit and believe their sins forgiven in Jesus’ name and blood, they are united in love, are very close to each other, and are dependent on one another. This bond of unity and love is much stronger than the bond uniting natural families together, since God’s love joins us. We thank God for His family and for the gift of being a part of this family. The Believing Family, the Family of God We also thank God for our natural family. It is a gift from Him. When the parents and children of a family are believers, this is a special gift. We often forget to be sufficiently thankful for this gift. Our believing family, our small home congregation, is a miniature version of God’s larger family, as Jesus lives there through His Spirit. However, we still need the larger family of God. God has given its members as our companions, escorts on the way to heaven. Jesus comforts those whose natural family members are not of God’s family. They, too, are blessed with brothers and sisters in faith in God’s kingdom. Jesus says, “Verily I say unto you, There is no man that hath left house, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my sake, and the gospel’s, But he shall receive an hundredfold now in this time, houses, and brethren, and sisters, and mothers, and children, and lands, with persecutions; and in the world to come eternal life” (Mark 10:29,30). Here Jesus so beautifully and powerfully shows the blessings and benefits of being in God’s family. We enjoy this love, unity, and fellowship with other believers, which will also continue eternally in heaven. Gather with God’s Children We need the larger family of God. God’s children gather to hear His Word, and in this fellowship, we learn of God, Jesus and His kingdom, and are assured through the gospel of the forgiveness of sins. As parents of a believing family, it is important that we take our children to services and to other events in our congregations. It is important that they understand that gathering with God’s children is the first priority in our lives. They understand this if, no matter how busy or tired we are, we still take the time to gather with God’s children. If we frequently put other matters before services, children also get used to this and can consider this to be an acceptable pattern of behavior. It is also important that we take our families to visit other believers. Our lives are often so busy that we begin to neglect this necessary fellowship. It seems strange that in our modern world, with all of its conveniences, we have become so busy that it is hard to find time to visit. We should consider what role other activities and modern technology have in this. Perhaps we need to return to the simple example learned from our parents and grandparents. It seems that even though many of them really worked hard and did not have many of the conveniences that we take for granted, they still often took the time to take their families to visit others. I fondly remember the visiting I did with my family when I was a child. I did not only visit families with children the same age as I was, but we often all went together to visit older people whose children had long before grown up and left the home. I remember how interesting and comforting it was to listen to the conversations between my parents and these elders. We learn so much from others’ gifts and wisdom of life. Modern technology allows us to stay connected with other believers in other congregations, even in other parts of the world. This can be a good thing, but we have to be careful that it doesn’t become only superficial, and that it doesn’t begin to take the place of actual personal fellowship with the believers we can easily and frequently gather with. God’s Family—Escorts in Faith We are reminded how essential God’s family is to us. “Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us” (Heb. 12:1). Our escorts in faith help us in so many ways. We can share our joys, trials, sorrows, and temptations with them; we get advice and guidance from them. Most importantly, we can comfort each other with the gospel. We are also reminded how important the fellowship of God’s family is. “Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves -to--gether, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching” (Heb. 10:25). As we are closer to our eternal reward than ever before, we are also closer to that day when Jesus comes to take all believers from the beginning of time to that day to eternal life in heaven. At this time, as always, we need the fellowship of God’s children. Let us continue to gather around God’s Word, traveling together to our eternal reward.

The Role of a Father

When I asked one of my young daughters what she thought the role of a father is, she answered, “To teach his children about God’s Word, forgive them their sins, and to be there for them.” She shrugged and added, “I suppose there are many other things as well, but that is what I think is most important.” When I thought about her answer, it again occurred to me how basic the needs of our loved ones are: they need love and forgiveness and a secure home in which to live. A Father as a Husband According to Scripture a man should be a husband before a father. Therefore, being a responsible father first necessitates being a loving husband. One must love, honor, nourish, and cherish his wife in every aspect of her life (Eph. 5:25–30; Col. 3:19). In this way he also teaches his children to love and respect their mother. As the children grow older they can use this example of love in their own relationships. The apostle Paul also sets the husband as the head of the wife and he instructs the wife to submit to the husband (Eph. 5:22–24). What does this mean? It can be misunderstood to mean that the husband is an authoritative figure that rules over his house in a demanding and overbearing way. This matter is addressed in the book Treasure Hidden in a Field. “In speaking of the husband being the head of the wife, the Greek New Testament uses the same word as the point of the plow, which receives the bumps and blows when cultivating. The word, which is often referred to, now receives broader content. To be the head means to protect and support” (pg. 105). Throughout my life, I’ve learned to understand that the husband sets the tone for the entire house. The husband is to love and support his wife as the weaker vessel (1 Pet. 3:7). If he with tenderness loves and supports his wife, she is able to perform, with joy, the responsibilities of a wife and mother. A Husband as a Father As a father, no challenge rings clearer in my mind than that set forth by the apostle Paul, who says, “And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord” (Eph. 6:4). In just a few words, Paul speaks of the responsibilities of those who have been given the duty of being a father. First, a father is not to provoke his children to wrath. It means that a father is not to do things that make his children angry, as it can make them discouraged and bitter (Col. 3:21). There is a difference between doing something right for them that does not meet with their approval and doing something that angers them for no good reason. Disciplining our children and setting boundaries provides a safe and stable environment where the children know what is expected. On the other hand, setting strict rules with the “I’m in charge” attitude often results in negativity. A father appropriately uses toughness and tenderness and is not afraid to set firm but fair limits. The second primary aspect of a father’s responsibility is to bring his children up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Yet, it feels like this is the most important aspect of being a father. The believing father is the spiritual head of the home. God’s presence should be felt in the home through the father’s forgiveness, gentle love, rules, leadership, and example. A father who was granted the grace of repentance later in his life, once expressed his longing to have entered into God’s kingdom when he was a young father. He could see the difference in his two sons, whose hearts were hardened from the ways of the world, and those raised in a believing home. He wished he had been able to teach them of the forgiveness of sins and to raise them with love and tenderness that comes from a believing heart. That we have God’s kingdom and His love to help us in raising our children is a precious gift fathers should treasure. Training and admonition mean more than simply discipline or punishment for wrongdoing. They imply that a father should spend time instructing and training his children to do that which is right according to God’s Word. They must be instructed how to do that which is good and avoid those things which are evil. Children must be instructed regarding the straight and narrow path that leads to heaven. Often we go into the flesh when a young one has disobeyed our wishes. God’s Word teaches that we should instead go to him or her in love and patience and offer forgiveness for their sins. We often find that our children, from a young age, have a thirst for forgiveness and an eagerness to forgive us, too. The ultimate goal is that God’s Word would be grafted into their hearts, and would bring forth fruits of righteousness. God willing, they will carry this training with them into life. Therefore, an incredible but rewarding challenge lies before a father. Children need to be taught from a young age (Prov. 22:6) to live according to God’s will as revealed in His Word (1 Tim. 3:15; Deut. 6:5–9). The Father’s Blessings Children are a blessing from the Lord (Ps. 127:3–5). As with all blessings, there is accountability. Fathers must realize that God gave this charge regarding children to parents. He did not give it to the day care. He did not give it to the babysitter. He did not give it to the grandparents. He gave it to parents. Each one of our children is a unique blessing. This also brings a challenge. How can fathers become more involved with their children? First, they can give each of their children exclusive attention as often as possible. In a large family this feels like a difficult thing to accomplish. Do not feel discouraged. One of my daughters told me that when we were busy with kids in each stage from babies, to toddlers, to teenagers, to adult kids, all it took was a few moments of special time to feel that she was loved and remembered. When the father is with his children, he should enjoy their company without allowing outside distractions to interfere. As a result, the children will feel noticed and special. There is no single formula for how this might be accomplished, as each child is different and special in his or her own way. A father and child might work, play, visit, learn a skill, or read together. It is important that they notice each other and acknowledge a common interest. This type of undistracted attention promotes a sense that each is important to the other. Few events will change a man’s life as much as becoming a father. Being entrusted with the responsibility for the care of another person can be an awesome task. I remember when my first child was born. I was driving home from the hospital and planning the many phone calls I would make to family and friends, when a thought struck me, that now I am responsible for the raising of this precious gift that God gave me. I said a prayer that God would give me the understanding, strength, and ability to raise her. God has blessed that prayer. Through endless forgiveness, a weak father continues the work of raising his children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

Honor Thy Father and Mother

“Get in here, David! It’s your turn! I did it last time!” “Hey, Don! Watch this! Did you know that popped bubbles are slippery? It’s fun!” “Hey…stop it! OUCH!” their older brother shouts. Tonight it’s the boys’ turn to clean the kitchen. Mom put the food away nearly an hour ago. She’s out weeding the back flowerbed but has come to check on them a couple times already. Once again, she takes her gardening gloves off and comes in. “Boys! This is the last time!” she says, this time quite loudly. Almost immediately, the boys spot dad at the door. “Boys, you go now,” he says firmly. “I will clean the kitchen.” The three brothers glance at each other and sheepishly step into the hallway. Dad closes the door. Now, they don’t even want to play. They sit on the floor right outside the closed door. What does it mean to honor our mothers and fathers? What does the Bible, God’s Word, teach? In Ephesians 6:1–3 it says: “Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.” What does this mean? Jacob (age 8) says that it means that we should listen to our moms and dads and do what they tell us to do. “When we don’t obey our parents, they’re not very happy,” he says. “If we don’t honor our parents, it is sin,” Mikael (9) adds. “But, if we do obey them, they’re very happy. God is happy, too.” Jacob and Mikael are right. To honor our mothers and fathers is all that and more. To honor means to respect, to look up to, to obey, etc. Luther teaches that we are to place our mothers and fathers as if next to God. Even if they are different, or as God’s Word says, “peculiar,” this instruction does not change. God’s Word says to love and honor them all of their lives, even when they grow old and frail. In a sermon, a believing minister talked about obedience. He said that we don’t always understand why certain things happen in our lives. Sometimes we may not even understand a certain instruction or teaching in God’s kingdom. Years later, we might look back and then understand why something happened the way it did. But, not always, even then. If we don’t understand, why would we listen and obey? The minister said it’s because we want to be obedient to God and the instruction in God’s kingdom. He compared this to the example of children wanting to go to a friend’s house. Sometimes your parents will say “yes” when you ask, but other times they will say “no, not this time.” Some--times when they say no, they have a reason that you understand, but other times you might not understand or agree with them. Is this easy to accept? Is it easy to obey them at such a time when you don’t understand why? The devil, the enemy of souls, wants God’s children to fall into sin. Just like the boys in the kitchen. He tempted them like he tempts you and me today. When dad opened the door after finishing the dishes, the boys ran into his arms, immediately wanting to have their sins forgiven. Dad happily forgave them. Pray to God that He will help you to always want to have your sins forgiven, too. “Dad, we’ll do the kitchen for the girls tomorrow,” Don promised, “won’t we?” looking at his brothers. They both nodded. “And we’ll come help you outside now, too!” Then they ran off to find their mom. We can be happy that God has given us our mothers and fathers. They care for us so much, more than we can even understand. Having a mother and father is a gift. Treat them as great and precious. Love them and help them. Most important, help them get to heaven. Tell them that they, too, can have all their sins forgiven.

The Role of Mother

In His perfect plan, God gave men and women different but complimentary roles. To the woman He gave the role to carry and give birth to children. The mother carries this miracle of new life inside of her body for nine months before the child is even born. The mother’s care is vital to the health and well-being of the new baby and the growing child. Mothers play a central role in rearing honest, contributing members of society’s next generation, yet motherhood is not always given the value it deserves. Examples in Scripture Believing mothers have a special God-given role. Remember from the pages of Scripture that it is written of Paul’s young co-worker, Timothy, that he learned about living faith from his mother Lois and his grandmother Eunice (2 Tim. 1:5). Scriptures paint the picture of a believing mother as one of teacher and comforter (Isa. 66:13), caretaker of her home (Prov. 31:27), and one who trusts in God’s plan for her life (Luke 1:38). A believing mother, alongside her husband, endeavors to build a home where there is love and forgiveness; a home that is a refuge from the temptations of the world; a home where God’s Word is taught and valued. The Most Important Duty The first and most important role of a believing mother is to preach the gospel to her children. In the same way that the Bible gives a picture of Sarah, the congregation Mother, who cares for its members, a natural mother also cares for the children in the small home congregation, where the building blocks of faith and forgiveness are taught and the love of the Lord Jesus is felt. It is good that a mother preaches the gospel and says prayers with her children already from infancy. God’s Word teaches us that He has known each child He gives before his bones are even framed (Jer. 1:5) and that He knows the book of each child’s life before it is even opened (Ps. 139:16). By preaching the gospel, a believing mother, together with her believing husband, tends the tiny seedlings that God has placed in their home and in their care. As the child grows, the mother and father nurture, instruct, comfort, and admonish. They, with many weaknesses, plant the seeds of faith in prayer. It is God who then gives the increase. Another important role of a believing mother and father is to bring their children to the feet of Jesus, to the hearing of God’s Word. Children learn from their parents’ example how important it is to be at services and the gatherings of God’s children. They also see how God’s children are served in their home, how the family pauses around God’s Word at home festivities, and how the family sings songs of Zion together. Mothers Teach By Example The saying goes: “If mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.” It’s funny, but true. Mothers can set the tone for the atmosphere in the home. Is the home negative and critical or loving and forgiving? Mothers teach by their attitude, whether it is positive or negative. They teach by how they speak to their children and husband and by how they treat others. Mothers also teach by how they speak about others, whether they put the best construction on all that their neighbor does or if they gossip about the difficulties of others. Mothers teach the role of work in life by having children participate in household chores. The workload is lighter when all members of the family participate. Mothers also have an important role in teaching their children values like responsibility, respect, honesty, and diligence. Along with tending to all the practical duties of caring for the home, it is important that a mother also spend time with her children: reading, singing, etc., and fostering open communication by taking the time to really listen to and talk to her children. Spouses Support; The Gospel Encourages Scripture teaches wives to “submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord” (Eph. 5:22). When both spouses in marriage live with a mind of service and sacrifice toward one another—submitting to one another and treating each other with kindness, patience, humbleness, respect, and forgiveness—they also teach their children how to treat their future spouses and how to care for difficulties in marriage and to forgive from the heart. When a mother and father work together for the good of the home, the practical workload is shared, and each supports the other in his or her role. In everything they do, mothers teach. Yet, believing mothers do not feel like good examples to their children. Tiredness sets in. Quarrels arise. Impatient words are said. Selfishness comes to the surface. Believing mothers have the freedom, as often as they feel the need, to ask for forgiveness. Offenses that have broken love and unity in the family can be cared for. When there is an atmosphere of forgiveness in the home, when both father and mother and the children are ready to ask for and preach the gospel, a spirit of unity and love can be preserved in the family, and mothers receive new strength to resume the God-given task that is before them. Service and Sacrifice When I think of mothers of previous generations, the words service and sacrifice come to my mind. These mothers spent their lives tending their homes, caring for their families, and serving God’s children in their homes and around their dinner tables although they had very little extra and few modern conveniences. They served others first. Today’s society often emphasizes that we must have our own needs met first. Their example is one of service to others, as Jesus taught us. Simple Faith Is Enough The simple faith and trust of these older mothers is also a good example for us today. When my mother passed away many years ago, one thing spoke strongly to me. She had very little in earthly possessions. She taught with the simple gifts God had given her. She had faults. Yet simply by faith, by believing her sins forgiven, she reached the eternal shores of heaven. Simple faith was enough! In this time of selfishness and hurry, a believing mother can feel tempted, tried, overwhelmed, and doubting. From where can she find strength to battle the questions of her own mind, her own failings and sinfulness, as well as the pressures of society and the trials and sorrows of life? The psalmist writes, “I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help. My help cometh from the Lord” (Ps. 121:1,2). God promises to be with us and help us. He cares for us in all the difficulties of life when we trust in Him. “Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you” (1 Pet. 5:7). May we say with the writer to the Hebrews: “I will put my trust in Him… behold, I and the children which God hath given me”

The Prodigal Son

How many hired servants of my father’s have bread enough and to spare, and I perish with hunger! I will arise and go to my father, and will say unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and before thee, And am no more worthy to be called thy son: make me as one of thy hired servants—Luke 15:17–19 This is part of a story that Jesus told. It is called the Parable of the Prodigal Son. The word prodigal means wasteful or careless. When you read or listen to the story, think about what this son wasted in his life and how the memories of his home helped him to return. The prodigal son was desperate, hungry, and alone. He had left his home quite some time before. Everything had gone wrong after he left home. His new friends turned out not to be real friends; they left him when he ran out of money. Now he had started a new job that he didn’t like at all. He was looking after a certain man’s pigs. The food that the pigs ate seemed anything but good. But he was so hungry that he asked for permission to eat it. He was not allowed. In this situation the prodigal son remembered his former home. It had been a good place to live. He remembered his dear father, who had been sad when he had packed his belongings and left. He realized now that the father had been right when he had warned him about leaving home. Oh, how difficult everything felt now. “Why did I leave?” he asked himself. He remembered that home life had seemed so boring; he had wanted change and adventure in his life. Now he had to admit that sin had taken all his strength. It wasn’t as easy to return as he had thought. “Here I am starving to death and at home even the servants have enough to eat,” he thought. “I’ll go back home,” he decided. “God, please give me strength,” he said to himself. Such was the battle of the prodigal son. He remembered his dear home. The memories were good. God gave him strength and humbleness to return. All was forgiven; hope and happiness returned. May the story of the prodigal son warn us all to stay in the Father’s house, in God’s kingdom. May we all want to believe as humble grace-children. There is food, shelter, and protection in the Father’s home for every believer.

Keeping Focused amid Life’s Busyness

The elementary school children come bounding in the door from school, excited to share the news of their day. The big kids are already home. The oldest reminds she needs a ride to work. The baby wakes up hungry and in need of a diaper change. Walking past the pantry, the mother discovers the two year old “baking” with ingredients spread all over the floor. She sighs, and silently prays, “God grant me patience.” Still hoping to go to Bible class in the evening, she knows supper and homework must get done right away. Life is busy in a household with many children. The busyness increases during days of preparation for the congregation’s fund--raiser craft and bake sale. Everyone able is baking, painting, and preparing crafts. Still other days, the household is busy scrubbing, preparing to host language camp guests who will be staying for a few days. In the midst of activity, the busy father is working long days at work; perhaps even gone for several days at a time while traveling for work. In some families, the mother might also be working to help support the family. The family calendar becomes a work of art, as activities and schedules fill the squares. A common theme in today’s society is the busyness of life. Quiet evenings at home are rare. Youth, parents, and elders all seem to share this experience. What is it that makes life so busy? What has changed in the past decades to make life seem busier? Is it healthy to be busy? Is there a “good busy”? Sometimes, the things that make us busy are activities we choose to participate in. Other times they are responsibilities that we have been given. When the economy weakens, perhaps more time is spent trying to provide for the family. Still, other things that make us busy are the numerous church activities that we are blessed with. Being busy isn’t necessarily bad, but it creates challenges. It is important to evaluate our schedules, commitments, and activities and their effect on our families. Challenges of a Busy Life What are the challenges of a busy life to a family? As I contemplated this question, I asked my children for their thoughts. The first insightful answer was, “We get mad at each other faster.” As the stress level mounts, patience wanes. Parents and children alike feel the impatience and react by being short with each other. Another challenge is finding time to visit with each other. We can live with each other in the same home, but not take the time to share our plans, fears, joys, and sorrows. The songwriter understood this when writing, “With selfishness and hurry, how blinded we become. We scarcely even notice our dear ones’ needs at home.” Fostering relationships with our spouse, our children, and between children requires time and attention. It doesn’t happen simply by living under the same roof. As children fill the home, parents have a responsibility to both guide them in their walk of faith and in their future plans. Getting to know their friends helps in this duty and is a source of great joy. Yet, as children grow to teenagers, it can be challenging to find time to visit with them and to host haps activities. The teens also, experience a fast pace of life. Our society is structured in a way that promotes early independence. Already in their early teens, many are working. Schoolwork and socializing consume large amounts of time for most young people. The activities that keep teens and young adults busy, generally also keep them away from home. This makes it more of a challenge to visit, instruct, and guide them. A similar challenge is maintaining meaningful relationships with friends and extended family. That, too, takes time. How well can we know our friends if we don’t have time to visit them? When a person or family is going through hardships, it is vital that they have support from friends. If our own lives are too busy, it is difficult to find time to help others. Sometimes, it is work in God’s kingdom that keeps a person or family busy. Even here, it is worth considering the workload from different angles. Do I take on too much? Or, is there more that I can do to help relieve the workload of others? Sharing work and responsibility lightens the load for the workers. It is worth considering time and commitment. The SRK Family Committee report noted that, “as personal responsibility and commitment diminishes, there is a danger of responsibility piling on the shoulders of just a few. This is why everyone should be encouraged to take part in mutual activities.” The societal norm around us, perhaps due in part to the economy, places significant pressure to “shoot for the stars” or to perform at the top. This is true both in work and school environments. Of course we want to do our best at everything we do. However, this pressure can put excessive demands on individuals. Long hours spent at work cuts into time spent with our families. Pursuing higher levels of education or job training are necessary, but also consume time otherwise spent with family. When working and studying, it is important to remember the meaning of reasonable responsibility. It is enough to do one’s best. Contemplate the ability to cope from the point of view of both work/school and of the family’s wellbeing. Feelings of weariness and poorness can come close when we consider what we want to do, but can’t find the time to do. Visiting elders and those who may not have large circles of friends and family around them is one such desire. Caring for the emotional needs of our young ones, guiding older children, and teaching God’s Word in our homes are others. Yet, God knows our situation and our desires. Maintaining Focus When the song mentioned above reminds of our poorness, it doesn’t leave us hopeless. There is also comfort in it. “But then we pray, dear Father, and share our stress and burden within the care of Christ.” In addition to prayer, there are practical aspects of our lives that we can consider and adjust. As people with varied interests, we place value on different things. For some, time spent on education and a career takes a higher priority; for others pursuing hobbies is important. Still others prefer to spend time away from the routines of life, either with coffee outings or on distant vacations. All of these things are good when kept in moderation and when considered from the perspective of their impact on the family. We are immersed in a culture that emphasizes pleasure, individual will, and instant gratification. Without realizing it, our focus can shift from considering the good of the family to pursuing personal interests and wanting an “escape” from the role we have been given. God, in His infinite wisdom, already from the beginning of time, knew of man’s need to rest and study His Word. When God created the earth, He rested and sanctified the seventh day to be the day of rest. When He gave the commandments to Moses, He instructed to remember the Sabbath day to keep it holy. These instructions are important for us still today. It is good to put daily cares away and spend a day at services and visiting with fellow believers. Being at services offers a time to refocus and maintain perspective. When we together as parents and children quieten to hear God’s Word, we share an unhurried moment. The children sense the value of going to services and of the need to live of the gospel. Especially when the stresses of life feel heavy and weariness sets in, we need the support of others. “And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works: not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching” (Heb. 10:24,25). Take time to attend services, to visit, and to sing. Most importantly, take time to preach the gospel. Our strength is in the gospel. It is what each of us needs, from the very youngest to the oldest in our homes. When impatience occurs, when settling children for the night, when teens are struggling, or when weariness sets in, use the gospel. “For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ: for it is the power of God unto salvation to every one that believeth” (Rom. 1:16). It enables us to keep our sights on heaven where time and busyness don’t exist. The faster time passes, the sooner we will be in heaven, rejoicing with the saints.

The Believing Home as a Refuge

A Place of Protection “I remember from my youthful years, how especially good it sometimes felt to come home.” A brother reminisced of the years of his battles in faith when growing up. Possibly many of us can join with his memories. A believing home is a refuge for all of its members. God has meant it to be such a place. We need a place of protection as our faith is little, our strength small, and the enemies many and powerful. The psalmist writes about the protection of God’s kingdom for the family: “Yea, the sparrow hath found an house, and the swallow a nest for herself, where she may lay her young, even thine altars, O Lord of hosts, my King, and my God. Blessed are they that dwell in thy house” (Ps. 84:3,4). The home has been called the nucleus of a healthy society. It is also a small congregation. Therefore, God has protected the office of mother and father so carefully. When He gave the Law to His people, one of the commandments mentioned very specifically that children are to obey and honor their parents. That is God’s good and wise will. It will bring a blessing to those who follow it. The command is connected with the office of the parents, not their individual skills or capabilities in parenting. Home Life Teaches Home life is our natural teacher; it is a place where the rising generation should receive proper and healthy advice on how to live with other people. All of us carry our childhood homes with us throughout our lives. When newlyweds establish their own home traditions, they bring their own home life experiences to this process. Home is a place where we should also learn how to ask for forgiveness and how to forgive one another. There is no home where sin doesn’t affect. We need to forgive one another often; everyone needs forgiveness from his or her close ones. Happy is the home where forgiveness is used often! If a quarrel between parents takes place in front of the family, it is beneficial for the children to also see that it has been forgiven. One of the best lessons and examples is when mother and father care for their own shortcomings and sins with their children. Many of us have precious memories of service occasions at home or other special home activities. It may have taken place at a baptism, a birthday celebration, a Thanksgiving meal, or at the Christmas table. It is good to take time to read Scriptures and to pray together. “How sweet are thy words unto my taste! yea, sweeter than honey to my mouth” (Ps. 119:103). More than a Dwelling Home is the relationship of its members, not a physical building. Our family learned that in a very concrete way when we sold our Finland home and moved to the United States. Now, when our children have come to visit us, they have mentioned how interesting it has felt to come to home on the other side of the world. Home was not connected with the house that we built and where we lived for over 20 years. After all, it was only an abode, a place to live. The “home” was something deeper; it was connected to the people who lived there. When the people moved, the home moved with them. A Place for Forgiveness and Love Forgiveness sets the atmosphere at home. There are other factors, too, that create a warm, loving, and inviting atmosphere at home. One is the songs and hymns of Zion. As technology has advanced, we have good opportunities to have this kind of music in our homes. Another factor in the home atmosphere is the bond of love between the parents. As the saying goes, “The best gift that a father can give his children is to love their mother.” It is true what John writes: “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear” (1 John 4:18). When there is no fear, there is trust and a gracious atmosphere. Who wouldn’t want to live there?

Joseph Forgave His Brothers

Joseph’s brothers gave this message to Joseph after their father Jacob died. They said that their father wanted it relayed to him. Why did Joseph’s brothers say this? They feared that now Joseph would take revenge on them for their hateful deed against him. The wonderful story of Joseph tells of a believing boy who wanted to be obedient to his believing father and Heavenly Father. Once when Joseph was about 17 years old, his father sent him to check on his brothers who shepherded Jacob’s flocks. His brothers hated Joseph because he was a believer and wanted to do what is right before God. When they saw him coming they decided to kill him, but then chose instead to sell him as a slave into Egypt. Then they told their father that a wild animal had killed Joseph. Jacob cried for many days. Joseph was alone in faraway Egypt, but the Bible says that the Lord was with him and he was happy and successful. Joseph came to Egypt as a slave. He was made overseer over the house of Potiphar, an officer of Egypt’s Pharoah. Potiphar’s wife lied about Joseph and he was put into prison. Even in prison “the Lord was with him, and that which he did, the Lord made it to prosper” (Gen. 39:23). Because God had once given Joseph wisdom to interpret dreams, he was eventually taken out of prison and brought before the Pharaoh to interpret his dreams that no one else could interpret. The dreams told of seven good years and seven lean or poor years. Pharaoh understood that God was with Joseph and made him ruler over the entire land. God gave Joseph wisdom to store food during seven good years when the crops grew well. Eventually Joseph’s brothers had to go down into Egypt to buy food because the land of Canaan experienced famine. At first, Joseph acted like he did not know his brothers and began to sternly question them. They said that they are 10 brothers, with the youngest one left at home, and one dead. The brothers became fearful that now God was punishing them because they sold Joseph. Joseph asked that they bring their youngest brother to prove they were being truthful. He wanted to see his younger brother Benjamin. When the brothers brought their food home to Jacob and told what they had experienced, Jacob feared letting his youngest son Benjamin go to Egypt, but eventually there was no choice because their food ran out. When Joseph saw his brother Benjamin, he was so overcome with joy that he went into his own room and wept. Eventually Joseph couldn’t help but tell his brothers who he was. He cried so loud that the Egyptians and the house of Pharaoh heard it. He hugged his brothers and said, “I am Joseph; doth my father yet live?…Come near to me…I am Joseph your brother” (Gen. 45:3,4). He told them not to worry or be “angry with yourselves…for God did send me before you to preserve life” (Gen. 45:5). “And he fell upon his brother Benjamin’s neck, and wept…Moreover he kissed all his brethren, and wept upon them” (Gen. 45:14,15). Following all of this, Joseph had his father and the entire family moved to Egypt. When they met, Joseph and his father hugged and wept for a long time. They had not seen each other for 22 years. After 17 years in Egypt, Jacob died. After Jacob’s burial in Canaan, Joseph’s brothers worried that Joseph was now going to take revenge on them for selling him. They sent a messenger to Joseph saying that before death, their father said to ask Joseph to forgive his brothers’ sins. Joseph wept when they spoke to him and said, “Fear not: for am I in the place of God? But as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good…to save much people alive…And he comforted them, and spake kindly unto them”

Caring for the Marriage Relationship

Love, Commitment, and Work Keep Marriage Strong Marriage is like holding on to a treasure that increases in value. It re-quires a lot of effort, but its rewards are immeasurable! A faithful spouse—a friend of the heart who understands, listens, supports, and forgives—is a treasure worth cherishing. Luther prized his wife. “I would not want to exchange my Kate for France, not for Venice to boot; to begin with (1) be--cause God has given her to me and me to her; (2) because I often find out that there are more shortcomings in other women than in my Kate; and although she, of course, has some too, these are nonetheless offset by far greater virtues; (3) because she keeps faith and honor in our marriage relationship” (WLS 888). We all value close, warm, and secure relationships, but many times fall short in their care. Marriage is a covenant be--tween two different people. Like other relationships, there are problems that can break the tie between husband and wife, but working through them can show the direction to a happy life together. God established marriage and has said that it is not good for man to live alone. Marriage is a gift of God. The Bible says, “a prudent wife is from the Lord” (Prov. 19:14). Challenges in Married Life Change In the beginning of marriage, a couple lives in good feelings. However, challenges usually don’t take too long to come as the couple adjusts to living together. When God blesses with children, there is great joy, but now the couple must also take the children into account in everything. Preg--nancy can also bring uncertainty, concerns, and fears. A wife’s physical and hor--monal changes can be confusing to her husband. The husband’s concern about providing may not be understood by his wife. As the family grows, the focus on children and lack of time for each other can try the relationship. Lack of time for oneself can also cause stress. When children move into adolescence, parents are often at a loss on how they should react to the changing teen. Disagreements and resentment can arise. New adjustments can also come later in life when the nest empties. Another trial some couples experience is that of not being blessed with children at all. Other challenges can affect and try the marriage relationship: economics, unemployment, work stress, accidents, illness, mental weariness, and loss of life. Stress can make one accuse the other. In everyday life it does not take much for the flesh and blood to rise to the surface. My weak and faulty “home side” makes me relate more and more to the words of the Apostle: “For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do” (Rom. 7:19). In spite of our own faultiness, the estate of marriage that God has established is not diminished. We often remember at weddings that the holiness and permanence of the estate is “not a burden, but a lasting foundation for its constructive continuation.” For that reason, we do not want to allow our flesh to get the upper hand to diminish the gift God has given, but in order to keep it, we must practice humbleness, patience, kindness, forbearance, and forgiveness (Col. 3:13, Eph 4:2). Caring for the Relationship The bond between husband and wife stays strong if each remembers to care for it. Burdens, trials, and difficulties are part of life. The Apostle reminds us that there is also something good in tribulations. They remind us to be patient, to endure, to trust God who gives us hope in Christ. Life’s trials and experiences teach us to be patient with our self and our spouse (Rom. 5:1–6). They teach us that we are sinful and small, but God is almighty and merciful. How do we care for the marriage relationship? Showing understanding for one another and taking time to lovingly listen and speak to each other from the heart are of utmost importance. “Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ” (Gal. 6:2). Married life is continuously learning to better know one another. Honesty toward oneself and the other builds the relationship. In this way we get through difficult matters. The marriage bond is a tender one that is fed by a positive, kind, and tender approach to one another. Complimenting and thanking one’s spouse for smaller and bigger things, as was done in courtship, rekindles the desire of the recipient to serve the other. Doing so in front of others is also good. Laughter and joy also deepen the relationship. It is important to accept, love, value, and honor our spouse for who he or she is. “Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another” (Rom. 12:10). Remember to lovingly fulfill the needs of your spouse. Making a concerted effort to do what the other likes engenders warmth and harmony. “Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others” (Phil. 2:4). In spite of our best efforts, problems do arise. When arguments develop, both are at fault. To resolve differences, it is important to be open and to listen to one’s spouse. Matters are resolved in a peaceful, kind, honest, matter-of-fact, and loving way (Prov. 15:1, James 1:19). We may not understand everything, but forgiving from the heart is key. Sometimes it is necessary to discuss matters deeper even though they are forgiven. In marriage it is also very important to remember that all problems are not faith-related. Speaking of matters with a close friend or a professional can in some situations be irreplaceable. It isn’t easy to reach out, but there is blessing in doing so. Because we are faulty human beings, both spouses should be a little blind. Luther has said that “it is impossible to keep peace between man and woman in family life if they do not condone and overlook each other’s faults but watch everything to the smallest point…Therefore those who are married should be prepared to condone and forget their mutual offenses, no matter how great they may be, and should resume their customary loving behavior in their association with each other” (WLS 905). In marriage, the lesson of “forgive and forget” needs to be learned again and again: “Be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you” (Eph. 4:32). When a couple can learn to forgive from the heart, then there is no need or desire to return to matters that have been cared for with the gospel. The gospel is the power of God in marriage also